there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
