I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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