Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
how drunk are you?
Several
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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