If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
