Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
