I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
