Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
whose parrot is this?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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