dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
don't judge my taste in strippers
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
