i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
