shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
porn star boner night. come get it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
