I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
