My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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