I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
