In the future we'll all be gay
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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