Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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