So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
