Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
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Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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