sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
