Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
