she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
