The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
