love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
