We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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