I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
