Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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