Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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