ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My ass is underappreciated
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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