So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
