He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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