does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
