Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.