New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table