I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
