hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
