Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
