just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
