1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
