I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
