once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
