The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
