Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He shit in the fireplace
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
