She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
