ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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