he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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