I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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