Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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