My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
