Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
