I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
