Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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