I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
