never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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