I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
