If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
this boner is exhausting
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
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