hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
