She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize